2007 December « Woven and Spun

A Moment

December 28, 2007 at 10:00 pm | In Baby Drew, Mommy Moments | Leave a Comment

Drew’s been struggling with sleep a little lately. I don’t know if it’s because he’s teething or just because he’s becoming more aware of us and doesn’t want to be alone. Today, I went to put him down for his afternoon nap and he started crying. I went in a few times to check on him, pacified him a few times, and even tried rocking him. Finally, I quieted him in my arms, slowly lowered him in his bed and leaned into his crib keeping my face close to his. One of his hands grabbed at my fingers and pulled them close to his face; his other little hand reached up and clung to my cheek. In this position, he quickly fell asleep. As awkward as it was, I could have continued in that moment forever. But after his breathing steadied, I slowly backed away, not wanting to wake him with my falling tears.

It’s moments like these that remind me that he is a little human, full of human needs like the rest of us…my precious little son.

Baby’s First Christmas

December 28, 2007 at 9:43 pm | In Baby Drew, Family Times | Leave a Comment

He won’t remember a bit of it, but I took about a thousand pictures to remind Drew of his very first Christmas. It all seemed to go by so fast, but it was great. On Christmas Eve, we went to church. Drew was scared by the booming music and darkened room, so I held him for most of it. He actually made it through the whole service for the first time. He even ’sang’ along with some of the songs in his own gurgling style. And he really liked the candlelight part at the end…we could have a little pyro on our hands.

Then we went home and had dinner with Grandpa Mike and Grandma Barbara. Drew made it happily through that entire meal – sitting half the time in his swing where he ‘joined’ in on the dinner conversation, and half the time on my lap where he tried to grab the shiny silverware from the table. Then I put him in his Christmas PJ’s (thanks to Aunt Carol!) and we took another several hundred pictures of him. After that, it was off to bed for the exhausted little celebrity…

The next day we opened presents after Drew woke from his morning nap. I was surprised but he seemed to enjoy the whole experience. He grabbed at each new toy as Daddy opened them and investigated them briefly before throwing them to the floor and reaching for the next new one. That evening we joined Tim’s parents at their house for dinner and a visit with his sister and brother-in-law. We made the official decision that Drew is a chunker as we held him next to his 6 month old cousin. He’s easily bigger and weighs a good two pounds more than she does. Time for a baby diet, I think…

Drew stayed awake without much fussing until past 8:00pm, and then we had to leave, even though Tim hadn’t gotten his pie yet. It was a great time, and I can’t wait to do it again next year – I’ve got the camera all ready!

Lonely Christmas Cookies

December 26, 2007 at 9:20 pm | In Mommy Moments, Wonderings and Ponderings | Leave a Comment

This was our very first Christmas in our own house. It was strange not traveling up north to the icy regions of the country, and even more strange not seeing any of my family for Christmas. I realized that as Tim and I are starting our family, we are going to need to begin our own family holiday traditions. I questioned Tim about his thoughts on the subject and the only suggestion he could come up with was to make skiing in Colorado a tradition. Although, that was a…umm…lovely suggestion, until we strike it rich, it is also a lovely impossibility.

So, I took it upon myself to come up with some Christmas activities. I arranged for Tim’s parents to join us for Christmas Eve dinner after church. I shopped for Christmas cookie ingredients to be baked the day before Christmas Eve, and I sent Tim out to find a copy of The Nativity Story to be watched on Christmas Eve. It all seemed like a great festive plan to me. I imagined the Christmas coziness of it as I woke up the day before Christmas Eve and began cookie preparation.

About an hour into the cookie making process (I had ambitiously chosen four different types of cookies – two high maintenance, refrigerator types), I realized I was not having any fun. Normally, I LOVE baking, especially Christmas cookies, but this year it was not any fun whatsoever. Somewhere between hearing my husband say, “Oh, that looks like a lot of work” right before he slipped out the door to take a bike ride, and trying to entertain Drew while baking, all the festiveness of the day disappeared. I realized that in the past, I have always made Christmas cookies with or for other people – never alone or just for me, and it was the ‘other people’ part that made the whole thing so great. By the end of the day, I had platefuls of cookies for just Tim and I, a bowl of half made dough in the fridge (one of those high maintenance cookies never made it), and a scowl on my face. Tim had spent the whole day out, I had missed an entire day of enjoying my son, and all I had to show for it were plates of bake goods which, if consumed all by me, were just going to make me really fat! Arghh…

Well, I’ve decided to go back to the drawing board as far as Christmas family traditions. For next year, I need to think of somethings involving the whole family. Empty traditions without my family are just useless, even if the traditions do end up sprinkled with red and green sugar…I hope your Christmas was filled with loved ones. And I am open for suggestions for the whole family Christmas tradition thing.

My New Mom Wishlist

December 19, 2007 at 9:21 pm | In Wonderings and Ponderings | Leave a Comment

Last week Tim asked me again what I want for Christmas, citing that by waiting to put in my requests I had left him only two weeks to do the whole frantic shopping thing. Normally I’m very quick to make up an enormous wishlist, much like I did when I was a kid, complete with all the necessary details of cost, color, size, etc. – but this year it’s been a little harder to put into words what I wanted. I finally sat down to make up my wishlist and this is what I came up with…

1. A LONG, hot shower complete with ample time to condition my hair and shave my legs

2. The ability to be spontaneous again

3. A personal assistant who will style my hair every day, do my make-up, and occasionally give me a pedicure

4. My pre-pregnancy body

5. Eight hours of unbroken sleep

6. Time with my husband and friends

7. To be referred to by my name, and not “Mommy”

8. A housekeeper

9. Adult interaction

10. The ability to eat dairy products (they currently give Drew gas)

I realize I probably won’t get anything for Christmas from this wishlist, but that’s okay, because here’s a list of the things I already have that I am eternally grateful for…

1. my baby’s smile

2. watching my husband become a daddy

3. an excuse to eat more (I’m nursing…I need the extra calories…)

4. the smell of a baby

5. tiny feet

6. inexplicable love

7. the long awaited little laugh

8. strangers telling me how beautiful Drew is

9. rocking him to sleep

10. Baby’s First Christmas

Merry Christmas Everyone!

I want a Christmas present…

December 12, 2007 at 7:01 pm | In Wonderings and Ponderings | 1 Comment

I’m tired of some Christians mentality toward Christmas. And, of course, I don’t mean all Christians or all mentalities – let me clarify. Specifically, I am tired of the mentality that leads to the conclusion that giving gifts is bad, greedy, wasteful, or materialistic. I hear a lot of people reciting “Jesus is the Reason for the Season” and “Christmas is too commercialized” – and I don’t disagree with these statements, but I do disagree when it leads Christians to balk and steer away from exchanging presents to avoid the appearance of being worldly. I want a gift this year, and not just any gift…I want a big box, elaborately wrapped sitting under the tree two weeks in advance with my name on it! I know that list of “I wants” makes me sound like a selfish little child, but I’m really not, and I can explain why…

When I was a kid, the anticipation of Christmas was the most exciting thing in the world to me. I much preferred the few weeks before to the actual date of December 25th. Once the day finally arrived and all the presents were unwrapped and the beautifully decorated room was disheveled, I was full of disappointment – the Christmas Day let down. And many people would use that scenario as proof for the argument that gifts just cause the disappointment – if I had been focused on the REAL reason for the season then I would not have experienced that sadness. I disagree.

You see, I’ve been studying the Advent season a bit lately, and from what I’ve found, the whole process of celebrating Christmas and giving gifts echoes the glorious mystery of this season. One of the articles I read said that “Advent is marked by a spirit of expectation, of anticipation, of preparation, of longing.” When you exchange gifts, there is the time of preparation and anticipation, and for me there is always that continued longing after the gift is open. The prayer of the Advent season used to be “O Come, O Come, Emmanuel, And ransom captive Israel” – the Jews were yearning for the long promised Messiah. There was actually fasting and lamenting at Advent time rather than the celebration that takes place today. Then Jesus was born and the world was able to rejoice at his birth. But, even though the Savior of the world finally arrived, we are still here while He sits in Heaven. Advent still has an element of longing and sorrow in it because we aren’t “home” yet.

I want my kids to get gifts. I want them to experience the excitement of anticipation, I want them to experience the work of preparation, and I want them to experience the Christmas Day let down – to know that the gifts are wonderful and the gift of Christ, being the best one, is available to them here and now, and I want them to know that the best is yet to come – I want them to know that longing.

…I’ve read and reread this post a hundred times, trying to figure out if it says what I really mean. I think it does, but maybe the reality is that I am just selfish and this whole idea is just a stretch to mask it. Forgive me if that’s true – and let me know if it does sound that way.

Drew’s First…

December 9, 2007 at 2:13 am | In Baby Drew, Mommy Moments | 3 Comments

TOOTH! I can’t believe it – Drew has been drooling and gnawing on things for weeks, but I was told that teething can go on for a while so I didn’t expect the first tooth to show up for some time. But yesterday, I ran my finger along his bottom gum, and there it was, his first little pearly white broken through. It’s an exciting milestone, but I’m also a little worried – nursing might need to end a little sooner than I had planned.

In other news – I went this week to get a haircut, the first one since having Drew. I thought it would be a great ‘pamper me’ moment. I realized I was wrong however, when the hairstylist found my first gray hair. I guess Drew and I are both ‘maturing’ faster than I’d like…

Brain Cells and a Fish Bowl

December 3, 2007 at 7:10 pm | In Mommy Moments | Leave a Comment

I’m not usually one for embarrassing moments. In fact, before mommyhood, I would have been hard pressed to think of even one. Now, however, with the flux of hormones, fatigue, and loss of brain cells that accompany pregnancy and childbirth, I find myself experiencing more embarrassing moments than I’d like to admit. Take Monday of this week as an example. I was at the mall early in the morning for a workout. Normally Drew sleeps during that time, but on that particular day, he waited to fall asleep until just when I was finishing my workout. Realizing I had a few unexpected quiet moments, I thought I would do a little Christmas shopping. I took the elevator upstairs to JCPenney’s and shopped a little. When I was finished, Drew was still asleep. Surprised, I realized I needed to use this valuable time wisely. I was still pondering what else I might do as I stepped into the large glass elevator at the center of the mall. While staring intently at Drew, looking for signs that he might awaken, I racked my brain trying to remember something from the ‘to-do’ list I had left on the counter. I have no idea how long I was standing like that – staring at Drew and thinking hard about what my next move should be, but I suddenly realized the elevator had not moved. I had hit the down button, but I guess I hadn’t hit it hard enough. Looking below, I noticed the busy Starbucks, the line of kids waiting to see Santa, and the flurry of holiday shoppers – all with a spectacular view of the crazy lady just standing still in the big glass stationary elevator. I quickly hit the down button again, and hurried from the mall.