Woven and Spun

Just for kicks, I thought I would compare the experience of making dinner sans baby versus making dinner with my darling 8 month old…

The Pre-Baby Dinner Experience-

1.  Cook a lovely, tasty meal for two

2.  Sit down to a quiet dinner with my husband, enjoying his conversation and lavished compliments regarding the meal

3. Enjoy a tasty dessert

The Post-Baby Dinner Experience -

1.  Retrieve screaming child from living room and deposit him in walker in the kitchen.

2.  Practice acrobatics while gathering ingredients for dinner and dodging child-in-walker chasing rolling desk chair around kitchen.

3.  Chop zucchini while screaming child-in-walker rams into ankles.

4.  Shove raw zucchini into baby feeder and hand to screaming child.

5.  Scramble to get vegetables prepared while baby sucks the life out of raw zucchini.

6.  Begin preparing chicken while baby beats stainless steal dishwasher with baby feeder oozing raw  mutilated zucchini pulp.

7.  Ponder how long it will be before zucchini streaks are cleaned from stainless steal dishwasher.

8.  Abruptly end pondering to launch emergency rescue mission to save vertical blinds from child-in-walker.

9.  Pause dinner prep to clean raw chicken slime deposited on vertical blinds during emergency rescue mission.

10.  Return to stove to rescue burning vegetables.

11.  Mental alert triggered by prolonged silence.

12.  Discover baby-in-walker exploring toilet in downstairs bathroom.

13.  Disinfect baby.

14.  Disinfect self.

15.  Pull overdone chicken from oven.

16.  Hand baby over to Daddy stepping in the door from work.

17.  Scowl at Daddy as he says, “Oh, what a cute little boy!”

18.  Put dinner on table.

19.  Wrestle octopus-baby into high chair.

20.  Shrug shoulders and grunt in response to Daddy’s question of ‘what’s for dinner?’.

21.  Sit down to dinner.

22.  Get up to retrieve forgotten bib.  Sit down to dinner.  Get up to retrieve forgotten silverware.  Sit down to dinner.  Get up to retrieve forgotten…etc, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc…

23.  Feed baby dinner.

24.  Apologize to husband for dinner.

25.  Forget to eat my own dinner.

26.  Whisk baby off to bed.

27.  Return to kitchen to tackle burned chicken pan.

28.  Decide best strategy is to soak burned chicken pan till morning.

29.  Ponder if burned chicken pan will sit as long as zucchini streaked dishwasher.

30.  Try not to look guilty when husband asks if there is dessert.

31.  Confess to having eaten the last of the M&M’s during dinner making escapade.

32.  Lay on couch and mentally change dinner menu for the entire week to frozen pizza.