The Nature of My Beast

27 02 2008

Below is a brief snippet from a post I wrote just a few days ago. I didn’t publish it because there were a few things I wanted to add…

I can’t believe it, and I’m afraid to actual say it in case I jinx the situation, but we are beginning to feel a bit more normal around here… there are a few things that have contributed to making the household a bit more stable recently. For one, Drew is finally sleeping much better at night…”

Well, before I could add anything, the post became obsolete. Can anyone guess what happened that very night?? Of course you can – if you are acquainted with the nature of children or the dreaded Murphy’s law or just life in general – Drew embarked on a two night teething tirade comprised of weeping, much wailing, and a lot of gnashing of his sore little gums. I would have taken this in stride, having finally learned after six months that no peaceful condition ever remains for very long, except for the fact that these two wretched nights happened to coincide with my having to wake up very early to drive south thirty minutes during rush hour traffic in pouring rain to take a Florida State Teacher Certification exam. Why do these traumatic Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde moments have to occur at night?! – Please do not try to answer me with the simple logic that during the day Drew is playing and busy so he doesn’t notice the pain and discomfort that becomes evident at night… logic is playing no part in my thoughts right nowI repeat – why do these things have to happen at night?! (Picture me in disheveled pajamas with mussed hair, banging my head against a wall and moaning for the full drama queen effect of that question).

I arrived at the exam room windblown, holding a half-imbibed can of caffeinated Pepsi, and like a zombie sat down at my computer. I would have worried about failing but I didn’t have the energy. And thankfully, all it required was an hour of answering questions like “If a student disrupts your class, what is the best course of action? A) Follow through with a previously stated consequence B) Smack the student over the head with their textbook or C) Call the police.” I toggled between A and B for about ten seconds before remembering they were asking about public school policy, and not the private schools where I had been working. That Florida State Dept. of Ed. can’t trick me! 😉

Thankfully, I finished the test in only an hour and was allowed to leave early with my passing grade. I drove home, bleary-eyed, as quickly as I could – yes, I realize that was probably not safe – so I could use the rest of my babysitter time to take a nap. I crawled in my splendidly cozy bed and laid there awake for an hour. The aforementioned caffeinated beverage had sabotaged my exhaustion. No worries though, I’m sure it will return in full force – as soon as my mother-in-law returns my little beast to his mother’s care – drat that Murphy’s law! 😕

Six Month Check Up

25 02 2008

100_2206.jpgWell, Dr. Daddy got out the stethoscope and other equipment to give Baby Drew his six month check up this weekend. We both had to stop and marvel at the fact that it had been six months. We weren’t at all surprised that Drew appears in all ways, very healthy. He is now 27 inches long and 19 pounds. He’s moving into 12 month clothing. It seems like we barely got a chance to put him in 9 month things before he was busting out of them. Drew got his first taste of solid foods about two weeks ago, when we finally realized that Mommy was not going to be able to keep up with his need for CALORIES!! He likes carrots and sweet potatoes, but is still a little unsure about peas. We just started him on fruit today, and the verdict is still out on bananas. I’ll have to keep you updated. He is sitting up very well now, almost completely on his own, but occasionally he will laugh out loud and fall backward or lunge for a toy and end up tipped over and not able to get up. He locks his knees well now and holds his own weight on his legs. He’s also expanded his repertoire of vocalizations – boy, do we get an earful every day. It’s scary to think what we’ll get to hear when he actual puts words to all those noises. 😉

World’s Collide

20 02 2008

Pre-baby, Tim and I were quite active as leaders in our youth group, and , at the risk of sounding arrogant, we considered ourselves to be in the ‘cool’ leader category. We both had fairly large small group Bible studies that met weekly, and we enjoyed the ministry and camaraderie of chaperoning youth group trips. Kids would regularly show up at our house to hang out and talk. Right before Drew’s arrival, however, we began scaling back in this ministry, and we prayed and discussed what our future involvement might be. After consulting with the church, we finally decided that Tim would continue leading a guys Bible study once a week in our home, and I would play Martha Stewart, preparing chocolate mint brownies for the group on the weeks when Drew was being angelic and microwaved popcorn on the days when he was ummm, not. (Those poor boys have only gotten brownies twice 😕 )

A few weeks ago, the guys were here for Bible study, and I was sitting in the living room chatting with them before it began. Drew was sitting on my lap smiling and enjoying the thought that he was apart of the ‘big boy’ conversation. Suddenly, I felt something warm and oozy running down my leg. I look down and to my horror, Drew had soiled his diaper, and it had come out the side and onto my lap. I frantically screamed to Tim, “I need your help, take the baby, take the baby…he just pooped all over me and the chair.” Tim grabbed Drew, holding him out at arms length, and deposited him on the changing table on the other side of the room. I began contorting myself trying to get out of the chair without making more of a mess. Not wanting to get himself involved in a mess at the untimely moment, Tim inspected Drew’s seemingly secure diaper from a safe distance while yelling, “Where did it come out?! Where did it come out?!”

Immediately, we heard an explosion of laughter coming from the kitchen where the poor youth group guys had fled the instant they heard the word “poop”. We had gotten so caught up in our little diaper drama that we had almost forgotten their presence. All Tim and I could do was laugh along with them at our awkward parental moment. I quickly tried to sanitize and deodorize the situation as best as I could, and hoisting my stinky little son up to his bath, left the boys alone to argue over who was going to have to sit in the ‘poop chair’. Although, it provided an opportunity for the guys to learn about the reality of crises they have yet to encounter, I pretty sure Tim and I lost most of our ‘cool’ factor that night. But alas, what can I say, poop happens…


6 02 2008

One of the joys Tim and I have recently discovered is blowing raspberries on Drew’s tummy while he lays there helplessly, laughing hysterically. His giggles are addictive and contagious, and we can’t seem to get enough of this time honored parental tradition. Well, the other night, Drew decided to pay me back for all our hilarious torture.

I sat down in the glider to nurse him, laying him on a pillow on my lap. As I was getting ready, he rolled toward me, off the pillow, onto my lap, and came face to face with my stomach. Finding himself making skin-to-skin contact, he immediately latched onto my side and began sucking. It was all I could do to not to roll him right off my lap onto the floor – I started laughing so hard that I couldn’t do anything to fix his little mistake. I grabbed at him to pull him away, but I hadn’t finished undoing my top yet, so as I reached to undo it, he went back to doing what he thought he was supposed to be doing, and started mouthing my side again. I finally started laughing so much that he pulled away on his own and looked at me like I had three heads. Thankfully, that gave me enough time to undo my top and reposition his little GPS lips to the right location. He continued to stare at me wide-eyed though. He probably thought he had finally driven me to insanity with his late night antics, but he hasn’t succeeded yet – It’s amazing how rejuvenating a midnight belly laugh can be. 😆

Insomniac Attack

2 02 2008

I realized I’ve written many of these posts while I was exhausted. I don’t know why – I guess I just feel more poetic when I’m running on only a few hours of sleep. 😉 I apologize to any dedicated readers who have to plod through my wearied prattling…but here goes another one…

I do not understand my son. I have been trying since his birth to establish some type of consistency with his sleeping, and as a general rule, I honestly can’t complain. But then, suddenly, for seemingly no reason whatsoever, he becomes a crazy insomniac. On normal days – normal, beautiful, wonderful days – he will take a morning and afternoon nap, both lasting 2 hours or more. Then he will go to bed at 7:30 or 8, eat at midnight and 4am, and wake up at 7:30 or 8. I am perfectly, blissfully happy with those days. On his insomniac days, he will nap for a half hour to an hour, finally cry himself to sleep around 8:30 or 9:00, wake every hour or so, and then do something totally incomprehensible to his bleary-eyed mother like waking up, laughing and happy, at 6:30 am. NO ONE should be waking up laughing and happy at 6:30am after a night like last night. The worst part is that these days come in clusters. If he did it once every few days, I could handle it – “OK…it’s one of those days. Let’s just get through it and tomorrow will be normal again.” No – I have no idea when normal will return. ‘Normal’ usually comes back on the day when I’ve digressed to crying over TV commercials or what to make for dinner or because the sky is blue. And then, God has mercy on me, and suddenly Drew sleeps like the baby he is. I have tried everything to attempt to resolve these bad days – one day he seems to have gas, then his nose is stuffy, then the noisy neighbors wake him up…ughh! But, I have yet to find a consistent solution for his insomniac attacks.

Pardon me if I’m delusional in wishing for this to go away. Some of you long time moms might be nodding your heads and saying, “Get used to it – welcome to motherhood,” but even in my dazed state I am still holding out hope for consistently peaceful nights and days. I’ll figure out how to make it happen – as soon as I get a nap… 😕