Burnt Carrots

23 04 2008

After living with Drew and sleep deprivation for 9 months in utero and 8 months post, I have discovered that my mental capacity has greatly diminished while my capacity for ridiculous mistakes seems to have greatly increased. I like to think that this new found talent will soon disappear, but it seems that the more I ‘use it’ the less likely I am to ‘lose it’ as the reverse of the common expression would suggest. And, unfortunately, I seem to be using it quite often…To illustrate, here are a few examples of my new found stupidity…

Today, I burned carrots. Actually, let me be more specific – Today, I incinerated carrots, while also filling my entire house with the lovely, putrid smell of charred vegetable. My decision to steam some for Drew as a new finger food was immediately followed by my decision mistake of placing the carrots in a steamer pot minus water. Since water is an essential element in the steaming process…well, you can just imagine how that whole thing turned out. I am currently seeking a way to eliminate the odor before my husband comes home and I have to explain my error while he holds his nose…

A few weeks ago, I had a run in with a bottle of soy sauce. As I was hurriedly reaching into the pantry for a new ketchup bottle, I mistakenly knocked over an entire bottle of magic soy sauce. I say ‘magic’ simply because it was clearly not there when I reached for the ketchup, but magically appeared as I pulled my hand from the pantry, smashing the bottle to the floor and bathing my tile in Asian flavor. Unfortunately, my husband was home to witness that special moment. He helped out by dropping a few squares of paper towel into the lake of soy sauce before pacing back and forth worrying over the grout being permanently stained. He’s handy in messy emergencies like that – I mopped up the situation and rescued the grout, but sadly, the offending condiment has now been banned from our house…

I’ve also stepped into the shower fully clothed, walked into rooms and forgotten why, phoned my husband when I meant to call my mother-in-law, forgotten to turn off the kitchen faucet, left the freezer door wide open, dis-remembered my own address and phone number, and regularly mixed up words. I believed my right mind would return once Drew and I started sleeping through the night, but sadly I was mistaken. I succumbed to the awful truth a few days ago – right after I proudly declared to my husband that I had finally made the time to vacuum my legs twice that week. 😕

*Before putting Drew to bed tonight, I read him his animal book.  I found myself pointing to a dog and saying, “Look Drew, the sheep says ‘baaa'”.  I hope to straighten him out before he reaches kindergarten…

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